from Reynolds—part one of Claims of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles

Dear Y,

For my parents’ wedding, the elderly monsignor, a man who had overseen masses for many decades and knew my mother and her relatives, asked especially to marry them. Then, at the wedding, during the vows, he said: “Do you… Do you… what’s your name?” to my mother. She responded tersely with her name. Then he turned to my father and asked, without a pause, “Do you, Buddy Fry, take Jane Funk?” My father slammed down his booklet and said: “I’m James Wagner!” Later on, my mother had to start another section of the mass because the monsignor didn’t remember it. And finally, as the ceremony ended, he intoned, “And I forbid the pagan ceremony of throwing rice.”