Dear Kelly,

This winter, everyone’s hunched over in their own private airplane seats, sight-reading the street. Do I deserve new clothes? Ugh, what a repetitive gesture. They say you’ve also “parted ways” with your 2002 image. If you look on IMDB you’ll see some people like your ass but not your face. This puts me in such a despondency I know now how I want the book to end: on a crease.