sidebrow

if what can change then everything can change



§§§§



I’ve got these great cows in the sky

and lemonade clinking

as an image.

They would move really slowly,


can’t write a whole poem by recording

problem is that I’ll generate these little bits

disjointed,

what’s good is that

you don’t just write the next thing,

you turn it off

when you’re not inspired

and then you stop


and the reason why you wouldn’t want to do something about it

is precisely because you want it to have the providential character

of faith

you make something and you just have to think that it will turn up;

one thing happens, gathers salt,

“first of all you have to be a great storyteller”

that’s what they say on TV about making movies


only one man could make a point with his characters

the only time characters have had serious intellectual things to say

but they’re not just placeholders is in the Brothers Karamazov;

maybe it’s that you need the character to be less smart than you

so Joyce could do it with Stephen Daedelus in Portrait

because Stephen sounds childish;

people don’t have very many ideas

and so for someone to have a character

who had more than one idea

almost impossible,

maybe you just give them your half-assed proposals.



§§§§



With the Mountain Goats songs and the Neutral Milk Hotel repertoire

I can play a whole hipster folk review.

But now I think I’m really good,

When haven’t you thought that?

No, I’m serious. You should hear me.

That’s what you say every time you think you’re great.

But now I think I’m actually really good.

I think it’s really funny that you don’t remember saying that every other time.

Where you’re like, I think I’m actually better than other people.

No, I’m serious.

I know, but that’s what you say when you’re serious.

I know, but when you realize that you think you must be wrong.



§§§§



The other angle

is

wouldn’t it be phat

to be a founding member of a school of poetry?


but you can’t just have a group of friends like that

just because it sounds cool

you have to be born into it

by your tip

and those friends have to exist

circumstances have to exist

and your temperament.


Besides, foundings are

some of the craziest things to go down.

Always violent if you call them that and never by consent.

What about the reunification of Germany?

I don’t know if it gets out of the problem,

that’s all I’m saying.



§§§§



Been using these pocket folders,

using the small yellow notebook

and then putting the pages into the folder for later typing.

I need to come up with a new system.

I generate a new system every week.

But the multiple systems angle, while fun, doesn’t really organize you.

Yeah, I have at least six types of notebook and notecards and the computer.

For me it comes down to well, if I come up with a cool idea I should just remember it

because I’m not going to go through all the notebooks to find it.

I should at least learn how to keep better notes for class.

I actually wish that I understood the purpose of notes for class better.

I keep them, especially from my Nietzsche class, because every day

the professor was dropping bombs.

And you can’t possibly remember them off the top of your head.

One of his students has notes from his class since the 80s

and has them all perfect and in binders.

I’m gonna copy them.

He should publish them.

He’s only published one book and by all accounts it’s really hard.

If you can do that and you love teaching, that’s amazing.

You have to be pretty ensconced in the department, not now.

If you get ensconced you can get pretty weird.

If you’re allowed to get weird, you’ll go there, no problem.